Everything's So Blurry

1) Paradise

2) Paddy's Pub

3) Bobo's

Well Friday was an interesting night. Knocked off Paradise...of course, a juicy bar. I did try to get the juicies to leave us alone using an interesting tactic. I pretended I was gay. Even told them my "husband" and I were taking our honeymoon in the Phillipines. It was a little scary though how well I pulled that off. I think I weirded myself out of trying that again...Next up was Paddy's Pub. Not a soul in the place except the bartender. The bar had an Irish name, German decor, and Italian food (spaghetti). A really small place, but a good atmosphere. A strange Korean girl from Seoul came in and joined us...Tae Han. It was nice of her to buy us all those drinks, but we're not sure if everything was completely right with her. A bunch of loud dopes came in next, including a drunk Korean dude who we almost pounded into the floor. Luckily all violence was diffused. Tae Han gave us a ride to the gate in her BMW, and that was that.

Saturday JK and I went to a nurse's going away party at Bobo's. We obviously pissed off a bunch of idiots in matching shirts because it appeared we took over their bar. Again, violence almost erupted when some dumbass from Kunsan tried to talk to the nurses...First, he couldn't believe that pretty girls were officers, then he told us that he didn't like hospital people. He still tried to talk to the group, and so we stepped in and told the guy point blank to beat it. He must have seen the Michael Corleone in my eyes, because he quietly obliged. Then we hit up a couple repeats, Wes's Place, that damn country bar that gives me Montana flashbacks, and Woody's, the place with the giant beers, which at that point I couldn't finish.

And the Video Is In!!!

I was hoping it turned out OK, and it did. I managed to get some video of The Don Jamming with his band of Jucies. He dresses a little different for a show, but I think you can all spot him fairly easily. Jam on Don!!!! We also hit 2 more bars. Paradise and Paddy's Pub. Stories to be told in person, might be considered sensitive information...

We've Turned Into Losers

1) Soul Train

2) Element Club

Dang I have to stop delaying on these posts. We did knock off 2 additional bars this past weekend, but due to significant alcohol consumption and the lag time, I don’t really remember much about them. Soul Train wasn’t a bad bar…They had some kind of fruity drink call the Pink Lake, which was good and strong, but made my teeth hurt the next day. They had a nice window view overlooking Jumi’s, but the best part was the winding fire escape staircase. Not a good option if you’ve had too much to drink. I made sure to go ahead of JK, since I thought he might get stuck. Element Club was across the street, and as much as we tried to avoid this place, it had to be done. It was a juicy bar, which says enough. They had a drumset up on the stage though, and I told the fellas that I was playing that thing before I left. Unfortunately, the owners didn’t leave me any sticks, so I was forced to just jam out with just the kick and high hat. Next time I’ll bring my own sticks and shake the place to the ground. The rest of evening was a blur, and the rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. No new bars, but we did check out a good live band (Annika) and revisited City Hall.

We’re inching toward the finish line on this damn Pub Crawl. We may make it before we leave.

4th and Inches...It's a Touchdown!

1) Touchdown

Holy crap, Touchdown finally decided to open its doors to the Crawlers. Elliot's been walking past the damn place every weekend, hoping it was open, and it finally was. Not a bad bar. As the name suggests, a lot of football themed decor. Gotta give them points for the peaches as bar snacks. Can't say I've seen that before, but it's a healthier option than the dong kong. It's a second story bar, so there's a nice over-the-street view of the main drag. Heckles would have a field day up there harassing passers-by until they crawled in the gutter and cried.

As you can probably tell from the posts, the Crawl has slowed to, well, a crawl. Some of the motivation is gone, coupled with the fact we'd rather suffer through a hot buttermilk colonic before going into some of the remaining establishments. But we received some encouraging news...The town patrol informed Elliot of the exact number of bars in Songtan. Turns out we overestimated: the actual number is 111. And they're going to set us up with a map. So that means there's 34 to go. We'll knock them out a few at a time and get this thing taken care of once and for all.

In order to shake things up a bit, we decided to head over the bridge, to the "real" Korea - City Hall, Pyongtaek. Since we were rolling with a Korean, we figured this would be a good bet. Shorty's twenty minute walk turned into a good 45 minutes. JK and Luka had to stop for a breather - damn congestive heart failure! Anyway, we finally made it, and hit up this German Beer Garden with yard like contraptions of beer. Of course it was the same crappy Korean beer, but the cool glasses and built in table coolers make it taste slightly less like goat urine. Elliot hated the place from the start, and once we left, he and Luka took off in a cab. But not before Elliot and JK jumped into a threesome with the German totem pole (see pic). JK, Shorty, Phil (the Korean) and me hit up another Korean bar, where they knew some of the waitstaff. They had some soju and some 151 with us, and then Phil gave them a passionate kiss goodbye. I guess that's how it works here - you can't be shy. Of course, these bars don't count towards the total (note the title "Songtan Pub Crawl), but the new experience was refreshing.

We headed back to the Songtan and The Giant for a nightcap, and then called it a night. Next weekend is a long weekend, and because it's a Korean holiday, traveling is not advised. Sounds like a good time to knock out some of the remaining 34.

"How'd You Find This Place, Man?"

1) Mach One

2) UNClub

3) Lions Den

4) Jam

OK, so Friday finally arrived, and I was ready to booze. It's been a long week - between dealing with a top secret visit, and coping with looking at three batting practice fastballs right down the middle for a strikeout, it was time to rip it up. We started at Mach One. Now I know why the ER gets all those alcohol poisoning patients. This place had $20 drink til you drop specials. We didn't partake, but it's something to keep in mind. They had a bread machine (second bar to have this, wtf?), in case you're in the mood for some sourdough with your beer. The rock music was pretty good, that is until Nickelback came on. And you know my rule - either we leave or I turn into the Incredible Hulk and destroy the place.

UNClub was next. Straight juicy bar. Well-fed juicy bar, I might add. JK diffused that awkward situation by telling the juicies we were cops. Yea, they didn't bother us the after that. A little later a couple juicies hopped on stage with a guitar and bass and jammed out some dance songs to prerecorded tracks. Now mind you, these songs are terrible as is, let alone with some human-trafficked juicies trying to play them. Terrible. That and the lack of air conditioning in a basement bar forced us to leave that place in a hurry.

Then we headed to Lions Den. I had been there with the hashers, but we decided to knock this one out as a group. A lot of folks in there, but unfortunately most of them were loud, large girls or dudes with cowboy hats. Lots of country music to complement the scenery. We waited for the ladies to finish their cosmos and then we were out. We weren't sticking around for the bull riding competition.

Last of the newbies was Jam. It was a third floor bar and was advertised as Old School*Rap*RnB*Food. We decided to check it out, and noticeably lightened the place up, if you know what I mean. The bartender asked "How'd you guys find this place, man." Regardless, we had some drinks, played some pool, and took a picture. It was a nice relaxing atmosphere, with some good RnB jams to mellow the mood. Perfect if you're thinking of seducing a girl up there (note to self). The unisex bathroom was nice enough to take a crap in (also note to self). But we weren't exactly feeling welcome here, and moved along to some repeats for the remainder of the night.

150 bars my ass. We're up to 76 and I don't think there's many more. The end is near, disciples!

Pretty Boring Weekend

Friday:
1) Hustler
2) Cream
3) Wa Rock
4) Playoff
5) Lazy Daze
6) First Class Club

Saturday:
7) Shooters

Very uneventful overall. No one bar to tell a story about and no camera this weekend, so no pics...sorry.

The highlights overall...Hustler had juicies that you could picture in a Hustler Magazine, in the Beaver Hunt section. Cream had Apple Pie shots that were decent, but expensive. Also they had a tiny pool table, just right for Shorty to play on. Wa Rock was pretty much mid-crawl shit. Empty and boring. But they had a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald on the wall, so they were OK in my book. Play Off was horrible!!!! Flat crappy beer. Lazy Daze Featured 6 juicies and the 4 of us. We managed to "borrow" a souvenir though. First Class had tiny drinks that were weak. Saturday we hit one more new one. Shooters had Alarm Black playing. Their old lead singer was much better. They put on a decent show, but they try waaaaaaaay to hard to try and "look" like they are into the music. Silly faces and stuff. Also, they have like 20 different people that come out of the crowd to swap out with band members. If I could offer advice to them it would be to stick with one line up and learn the damn songs. A music stand with words to the songs looks pathetic and high school garage bandish.

Slow Couple of Motorboat Free Nights

1) Chae's Lounge
2) High Jinks
3) Crazy

So, it was a very slow couple of nights, with a fair amount of repeats, but we'll cover the new ones.

Friday we found ourselves on the prowl for a new location to mow down. We were walking the streets and strolled past Chae's Lounge. Inside were about 15 dudes singing a parody of "I Wanna Be Sedated". Their words were "We just masturbated" and they had the obligatory up and down or "jacking it" hand gestures to go along with it. What a bunch of frigging queers. We were tempted to avoid it all together, but when we cycled back through it was empty. So we knocked it off of the list while the homo patrons were gone.

We went out of the main strip to hit High Jinks next. It was very expensive. 2 thousand more per drink than other places run. Pretty crappy music, very few people, off of the main path and expensive drinks means we won't be going back anytime soon.

Saturday found us in 1 more new bar. We had been promised that boobies and motorboat contests were held in Crazy...alas it was an old mammasan and a dumpy little waitress..and us. The bathroom was very difficult to find and even hard to find the bar after you leave the bathroom. You had to go out through a small locked door. The pisser was a hole in the floor. On the way back in the door had re-locked. Since they could not hear my knocks through the glass screen door that covered the other door and was also locked...Well, I have a few nicks on my knuckles, we'll leave it at that. All I want to know is where is my motor boat?

There's A Flag On The Field...Looks Like A Party Foul On The Rookie!

1) Touchdown -- oh wait they were not open...
1a.) Triangle Bar
2) Beer Bunker
3) Club Pulse
4) Hideaway
5) Hilton Club
6) Wingz
7) Stereo
8)Power Club

Wow...where to begin? So the Don was kind enough to give a couple more rookies a try out...These 2 came to play though. We started the evening at the Touchdown Club...well we tried to anyway. Lights were on, music was playing, big screen going on, windows open...except it was like strolling into a couple of Korean's living room. They apparently weren't open and the people seemed offended that we would even try and come in.

So, We started the evening at the Triangle bar. Gay name but good bar. The drinks were big and potent. The place was huge and had a "Mafia" room in the back area that the Don was able to make use of. We had to coax the rookies at first, but they decided they were ready to come out of the bullpen and get a few innings of work in.

Off the beaten path and down the side alley we hit the Beer Bunker. It was pretty crowded. Their bathroom was halfway up/down the stairs... a little odd, but even odder that the Don liked to pee with the door open so everyone could stare at him taking a leak. JK, not to be out done layed a deuce in the same can, with the door open.

Club Pulse was next on the agenda and I'm pretty sure one of the rookies ditched us about this point. It was hard to find, but a good bar overall. Good looking waitstaff in basketball jerseys for uniforms. A great bar for shouting at people on the main strip. We watched some poor drunk bastard try several times to make it up and down the stairs across the street. Heckles gave the man a rash of crap. I am very surprised somebody didn't come up and slap her...she went at them pretty good. A lot like the Don when he's drunk with a lipper packed at a Yankee game.

Heckles was proving to be a pretty decent rookie...and then it happened...Hey, wanna roll with us? Thanks Heckles!...Thanks a heap. We also had to hide Paddington because his ole lady was out and almost saw him boozin.

The Hideaway was our next victim. A very small bar, but they had a balcony. More party fouls committed here, but on the visiting team, none of our players. A little E-CB issue that the Don was not too thrilled about.

Hilton was OK, nothing spectacular, but it's off the list. Just a regular bar.

We made it to Wingz and things get fuzzy after that. Heckles was kind enough to buy a round of shots...3 Wisemen. For the non-partay-peoples that would be a mix of Jim, Jack and Jose. Luka was on his period and couldn't drink a shot, even though it was his recommendation to buy them. I knocked his back too. We couldn't leave one on the bar after Heckles was nice enough to buy them.

We hit Stereo next. Another crappy juicy. Lame clientele. 30 year old"boys" backwards hats looking to bang juicies. Luka and I ruined their games though. We assured the juicies that nobody on base liked those 2 guys because they were "same-same". So when they come back, they will have trouble convincing people they are not gay...Turn your f&^king hat around ya mook!

We parted ways about this time and Luka and I needed a drink to relax after a long night of Pub Crawling, so we stopped at Power Club. I know, it sounds more like Paddington's kind of place. A place to work your guns and look at sweaty men, but it was a juicy bar. They were like polar bears in the Arctic. They seemed to be hungry and going to attack anything. Very aggressive! Luka punched one and screamed "Impossible is nothing!!!" and then kicked the poor girl. I probably would not have kicked the pregnant one, but hey...

Back to AA Go the Rookies

1) (Cheers)
2) Bulldog
3) The Giant
4) Roxy

So the night started a little slow but picked up speed as we went along. We started at Cheers, which I recommend avoiding unless you are just checking it off of your list as well. The beer was expensive, flat and warm. The ratio of poles to holes was infinite. Staff and the other clientele were doofs.

Next up was Bulldog. A nice bar, good music to choose from. Good prices and as close to a genuine Irish Pub you'll find here. They had a bike in a closet, just in case we needed to drive Paddington to meet his "Chicks". Paddington did manage to meet up with us there, but he showed up with two sweaty dudes...not insinuating anything, but...he showed up with 2 sweaty dudes.

Next we hit the Giant. Quiet place with a friendly staff. Obligatory Russian hooker included. We were traveling light at that point and called up a couple of rookies from the farm team. Our bartender was very friendly and offered to teach us some Korean. One of the rookies asked how he could tell a man they were handsome...again, not insinuating.....Good place, but we had to put a nipple on the rookies' drinks.

Roxy was the last of the new bars before we hit a repeat. One of the rookies had never been to a juicy joint, and boy did we ever show them one. Tons of non-aggressive juicies in their natural habitat. The Don and I downed our beers and were ready to go. The Rooks however had drank a sip or 2, but left when we were ready.

We hit a repeat of Playboys to show the rookies the magic of slushies. The Don decided we should get 2 pitchers since there was 4 of us...Let's just say that 2 of the 4 glasses were filled repeatedly, and 2 did not get half way finished. Good try for the rookies, but they might need a couple of more starts with AA Albuquerque Isotopes. Nice effort and worth at least the at-a-boy or good game.

And Then There Was 51!

1) The Russian Bar

2) Gold Star

3) Time Out

4) First and Last

So the man that asked to go by G-Money, but shall be known as The Hood Rat, started us off on our path. He has been out with us a couple of times and knows the game. We went by the Russian Bar on the 3rd floor. Shittiest joint that I have ever been in to. We left before the shots that I ordered were payed for.

That was OK because we knocked off the Time Out next. Hood Rat and JK snuck in all undercover style and let them know we were there to represent!

We had a repeat on Playboy next. One of the FNG (Burt), had never had soju and Luka had never had a slushie, so we killed 2 birds. As we were leaving Playboy, the Hottie inquired as to the Crawl's future plans. Elliot made sure she had a card, because he is Milli Vanilli smooth like that. We tried to follow them to the Griffin, but there wasn't enough Homo Juice to get us that far.

We ended at First and Last. Good name if you have a bunch of confused drunks rolling through, but a pretty crappy bar. Chickletts ditched us at this point...Home Boy better be an astronaut and downing some Tang! That's the only "free pass".

Next Thursday we cross the bridge people! Be on the lookout for when and where.

It's Time To Pay Tribute People!

It's time to pay tribute to a fine American. Blessed is the douche bag that gets by for 45 years on his brother's name...It's time to let your inner Irish out and pay tribute to Ted "Chappaquiddick" Kennedy. Something green is all we ask. Friday, a little after 8 at JJ's. Wear the green (preferably a shirt) and show the ROK that you will miss "Liquid" Ted as much as the rest of us...Booze it up! I think that since he has been tagging along, it's Crocket's turn to buy...he's finally off call and ready to roll! Chappaquiddick! Chappaquiddick! Rest in peace you murdering booze hound...Rest in peace!

It's A Blitzkrieg!!!!

1) The Loft
2) The Blue Jazz
3) The Dawg Pound

First do the math...2009 minus 1986 =23.

So we swooped in like the German Luftwaffe, silent and unexpected...There we were, on a Thursday. We Knocked out 3 of them too. Like London in the 40's...boom...boom...down they went.

We Started at the Loft. Quiet and easy. There was a little kitty in there though. It was cute and the only pussy we've had in months. Nice bar with a view. 2K Won for a draft...God bless happy hour!

On to the Blue Jazz next. Smooth easy music. Not much beer to choose from though. Great view and nice bartender.

Finished the raid at the Dawg Pound. Not very big, but quiet and decent. Good music playing in the background.

Exclusive: Video of Juicy Killer From Last Weekend!

Dude, the goal is to pee in every BAR!

Slow But Busy Night

1) The Blood Club
2) The People

So, we've never gotten as bad as home boy on the bench.

We started at Blood Club. Very much a Juicy bar. There were a couple of real losers in there. One dude paying one of the girls a large sum of money for some reason...hmmm...why would a goofy looking drunk give a pretty girl a pile of cash? Another loser with one hand up a Juicy's shirt and his other hand up her skirt. Real winners of guys. Are people really that desperate?

We rolled to the People next. Good view, decent music. The drinks were tiny. Just a bit bigger than a shot glass, and VERY weak. We needed to ask to make sure that she actually put rum in with the coke. Pretty slow night. FNG and I had to resolve a personal issue with the local authorities. The Don ran away...he don't do well with the cops. Decent night over all.

Angry Oli's Cement Shoes and Paddy Hats

1) U&I
2) Aloha
3) Peoples Bar
4) Friends Bar
5) Club Vip
6) Gorilla House
7) Club Join Us

OK peoples...let's start with this: If you are following the site, please take the time to become a member or follower. It will just look cooler when the page loads to see an assload of people as members.

Paddy-Hat night was a huge success. It started off at the U&I. It seemed to be a real Korean bar. Korean music playing, candy that looked like rocks, on the outskirts a little bit. We tried our best to get the "manager" to find some ladies to entertain us, but she didn't seem to want to have anything to do with any of us except The Don. There was a little spark there...maybe some romance in the future??

We headed to the Aloha where Paddington and his brother joined us. Lots of Juicies and very expensive. The Juicies and their clients did not hide anything. There were several "couples" making out and feeling each other up. I will be blown away if this place does not get closed down! I did manage to get a shot of Paddington's brother hitting on a non-juicy lady. I guess the poor game doesn't run in the family.

Peoples was next. This place was a little odd, but I figured out the secret later in the evening. The waitstaff was friendly and there were several actual Koreans in the bar. Paddington offered to arm wrestle the bartender for a drink...He lost. Paddington thought we were at the Jewish bar still and wouldn't pay for the drink. When it was time to go the lady begged me to stay but I politely declined. She told me that if we came back later she would buy my drinks. At the end of the night JK and I went back by there to collect the free drinks. However, she was wanting us to buy her drinks at 10k each. We laughed at her and headed out. Peoples is not outward or obvious about it, but it is a Juicy bar!

Friends Bar was our next stop. It looked nice on the inside and the staff was hot. They were very inattentive though. It took forever to get our drinks. Juicy Killer threw a table across the room and started screaming "Hulk Smash!!!" I don't know what that meant, but the drinks came shortly after that. The bar was straight out of 1991 with the decor though. A lot of neon signs and posters. Think, " whoaa ohh oh oh oh...Hangin' tough"

Club Vip was next. Club Vip seemed to be a decent place. They had a wall that the television was projected onto and a bbq grill in the corner...yes, a real one. The Don fired it up and cooked some dogs for us, real dogs. We figured while in Korea...The manager there was cute. She claimed to be 37, but looked about 25.

The Gorilla House was our next victim. Decent bar. A dog running around inside of it. Slayer on the walls, lots of people. Crocket shot pool with some gal here for the exercise. She seemed to want to hang out with us until she determined that some of us were dirty filthy enlisted people. She didn't have much to talk about then, but did seem to be into JK. There was a little spark there...maybe some romance in the future??

Last stop of the night was Club Join Us. Looked to be a Karaoke bar. The Mamasan in this Juicy bar was a faggy looking dude in a Mr. Yi shirt with a bright white belt on. His name was Homo Joe. We asked HJ if I could sing some Karaoke. I sure could, but each of us would have to buy a juicy girl a drink if we wanted to sing. WTF??? Juicy Killer hit the can and called it the worst in Korea. His description was "Kimchi cream on a hot sidewalk after 12 hours"

Called it a night at this point. Pretty good night overall.

Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do...BONG!

So let's get ready for Friiiiiiiday!!! Friday night shall be hat night...not just any hat...a cool straw hat. A "paddy" hat if you will. You can get them all around Songtan proper (like it's a big place). We can't MAKE you wear a hat, but we can, well...we can't make you wear a hat. Don't be "That Guy" though. Shell out the 5k and get a hat. Or we could all meet somewhere and buy them in bulk to save a few bucks (maybe somewhere in front of Scheiman's?). The Don can make him an offer that he can't refuse. And if by some chance he does refuse...I'll grab a stack and run like hell!

Slow Night, But Three More Down

1) Mystic
2) Christine's Bar
3) Playboys

So anyhoo...Slow night for the Pub Crawl group. I am pretty sure that at least a couple of captains were spending the evening in recuperation mode. The Don and I decided that it was our duty to make sure that at least a few bars got counted tonight. After meeting at JJ's we ran into a friend of mine, a goodfella on his last weekend here. He bought us a shot of Tequilla each to show respect for the mighty crawlers.

From JJ's we headed down the road to Mystic. A live band was playing. They were pretty good. A bit too liquid though. Each song they played seemed to have a different line up. The singer and guitar players seemed pretty interchangeable. We found Paddington sitting out front by himself. His Mangina was bothering him and the loud music seemed to cause it to act up pretty bad. Paddington was waiting on some lady friends to come and say hello. When they arrived he began to chat a bit with them. Pretty girls, but ones that know they are pretty...know the type? He was trying his best (which isn't that great) to hit on these girls. Then along came their "boys". One of them Stepped right in front of Paddington and started chatting with the ladies. Major cockblockage! he he he...

We Strolled to Christine's Bar next. Nothing much to speak of other than the hot little school girl bar tender (see picture). The music was crappy and the toilet was a bit odd. Somewhat like one you'd see on the Enterprise.

Playboys was next...SLUSHIES!!!! Yeah! Paddington spent the evening trying to hit on some bartenders. They were cute, but spoke almost zero English. He was pretty sure he was getting someplace with them. Even told us that they wanted to talk to the Don and I, but I am not into Juicies.

Paddington needed to follow the gals to the bar that they were at. The Don and I walked him to the S Club. But did not stay. We dropped him off their and pointed out where his lady friends were sitting. They seemed to have plenty of company already, so the Don and I bailed.

Decent night overall.

Oh, And One More

11. Xanadu

The official ruling was made last night that as long as 2 captains were at a bar, it counts. Well while Elliot was working on his bartender (did he tell you he turned her down at the end of the night?), JK and I hit one more club: Xanadu. You see, the theme for the evening, besides sports team shirts, was apparently following around a group of drunk pilots' wives. JK had some kind of plan, so we pulled up a chair and watched the show. It was quite entertaining, especially with the strategically placed stripper pole in the middle of the dance floor that the girls took advantage of. Some big goon gave me a bear hug in the bathroom because he thought my Calgary Flames shirt was a Philadelphia Flyers shirt (how drunk was he?). I calmly pointed out his error, then asked if he was an Eagles fan. He said yes, and I mentioned something about how the Giants were going to kick the Eagles asses this year. Then he shouted some profanity, raised his arms, and drooled a bit like a typical Filthadelphian. That, coupled with the fact that some meatheads had now blocked my view of stripper pole, meant it was time to go. Good luck to JK!

So...How Did I Get Home Last Night???

1) Club 99
2) Scheiman's

3) Cats

4) Zest Cocktails
5) The Hurricane
6) The Griffin
7) The Apple Bar
8) Cheers
9) The Corner Bar
10) Kelly's

Before the reviews begin, please take caution...there appears to be a cat crapping in people's mouths while they sleep. It happened to me last night, and it could happen to you. Also some quick business. Shorty is no longer Shorty. FNG is now Shorty. We could have given him a different nickname, but we are too cheap to have new cards made up. FNG/Shorty is a new Captain.

As I headed into town I overheard a couple of guys talking about one of them's kid. They were discussing that one of their kids was in band and the other asked if the kid was switching instruments this year. The other guy looked at him and said "No. He's worked too hard on his cello to start playing some weird instrument." I knew straight away, it was going to be a fun night!

Quite honestly somebody else should probably be blogging today. There are several parts of the night that are kind of blurry, like the middle and the end. But, I am a trooper and the show must go on!

We Started the night at Club 99. There wasn't too much to brag about. Some guy that looked like Rico Suave (that's the price you pay when you're a gigolo) was playing guitar and trying to sing. His name was Adam somethingoranother...and he sucked! If you know him, please tell him not to play any more.

We then decided in the spirit of cultural enrichment, we would take in a nice Jewish bar. Scheiman's it was. Not a whole lot to say about it other than the bar tender who we thought was Indian (we said Pakistan when she asked where we thought she was from just to see if we could really get her mad) is actually from Malaysia. She decided later that work was no fun and tracked us down to party. She really wanted to sleep with me, but I politely declined.

We passed by JJ's to gather a few more people and managed to pull Chicklets and Crockett along with us and made our way to Cats. JK was actually friendly to the girls, which shocked us all. Mommasan wanted us to buy juice and when we asked for lap dances all of the girls left.

We headed to Zest Cocktails and lost Chicklets along the way. They have a nice outside patio there. We managed not to spit on or throw anything at anyone. I did anyway.

At this point it was decided that beers were getting too pricey, and we could switch to liquor, which would somehow be cheaper...It made sense at the time. We hit the Hurricane for a kettle. Nothing special about the Hurricane other than the other patrons which I appear to have noted as "Broke ass mo fo's" This is the point in the evening where things started to slide a bit...memorically speaking...

So, we headed to the Griffin, where there are normally hot bartenders. It was a total Sausage Fest! Unless you want to look at 16 thousand swinging dicks, I would avid the Griffin on Fridays.

The Apple Bar was next on the list. Not a whole lot going on there. It is a pretty crappy bar, and the bathroom is horrible. Juicy Killer managed to get his Oswald photo with their mail though. For some reason they had a stack of mail in the stairwell. There is a good picture of it on the pictures page.

Cheers...Not a good bar. Horrible and empty.

The Corner bar was fun. Lot's of folks we knew in there. If you order a beer, when you are done you get to open the mug, pull out the ice and throw it. If you hit the tiny button on the wall you get a free beer. I missed by a bit. The Don went head hunting and "brushed back" the DJ a bit. Juicy Killer didn't understand what was going on and peed all over the dance floor (see picture above).

We wrapped up the night (for the crawl anyway) at Kelly's. It seemed pretty lame compared to the other places around. The bartender from the Jewish bar found us there. She begged me to take her home, but I politely declined.

It was nice having a couple of new bodies with us. Come out and join us sometime. Look for us tonight if we get out.

TGIFMF

Shorty's dad called to remind me that it was Friday! Time to Drink!!! JJ's at 8ish. Look for the guys too old to be getting tanked every weekend in the pro team shirts. For God's sake, don't be like Shorty's dad...show up with some pants on. I'll find it odd if I have to ask a second time. Very thirsty! Come get your cards.

Ahhh, The Eve Is Upon Us!

So here it is boys (and ladies it would seem, how cool are we?). Friday night is soon to be upon us. And as it comes, it bestows upon us the many opportunities to rack up a few more bars on the killed list. Another chance for a bar owner and their wait staff to wonder, "What the hell was I thinking letting that crowd blow in???". There is a hitch in the giddy up for the evening though. If you want to be in the club, you will need to arrive wearing a pro sports team shirt or jersey. Hats do not count. And before one of you asks, yes we will allow you to wear a soccer jersey. It has to be pro though. Brazilian National team does not count. Keep in mind though, you will be trekking through a constant barrage of "Look at the homo in the soccer jersey!". I mean from us, not the other patrons. Any real sport will work. Don't try to pull the "Ryder/Davis Cup" white Polo crap either...I am way ahead of that one.

JJ's Cantina - 2000(ish) - Pro sports shirt/jersey.

Coming Soon: Membership Cards

In order to instill a sense of unity in the Pub Crawl Team, and more importantly, weed out the poseurs and wannabees from the real deals, membership cards (pictured at right), will arrive shortly for distribution among the "crawlers". Buy a team captain a drink (another new rule), and get a card. If you're a hot chick, you just might get a card for free (at our discretion of course). If you're borderline hot, see Elliot. His standards are lower. One of the captains will punch a hole in your card for every bar you go to. The more holes in your card, the cooler you are. Simple, right? We're hoping to have the cards by the weekend, so come and find us. I'm thirsty.

On the Prowl for More People

Thanks to JK for his $1.23...here it is Party People...the one, the only...Songtan Sally. Wanna Go?

We have had a buttload (not a technical measurement, but I understand that it is a large amount) of crazy zealots claiming that they want to join the crawl. We'll be searching for Sally and another Virgin bar just waiting for us to take its cherry, starting again this Friday. Eightish, at JJ's. You are dealing with a fair number of lost brain cells, so 8 is just an ish. Don't get your panties all in a wad (unless they are crotchless, those are pretty hot) we'll be there when we get there. Some of the boys are what we call "Pretty" and take a while to get ready...Shorty. So come out and join us and feel free to bring a friend, especially if it's a she (more innies less outies). Newbies have to buy around for the website staff, sorry, it's a new rule.

But I Don't Want To Drink The Nasty Shot...

1) The Rose Bar
2) Club Monaco
3) Club Korea
4) Whiskey-A-Go-Go
5) Club Lucky
6) Dragon Club

Rock on boys...Rock on! What a night. We added another member to the traveling sideshow that is the Pubcrawl. The crawl began with the typical meeting at JJ's. We had a drink there to get our livers primed a bit and then it was on! We started at the Rose Bar. Pretty much a typical juicy bar. Pushy waitstaff, crappy music and drinks are expensive as hell. Shorty bought an Ammo bowl (see picture above) so that the FNG would be able to experience all of the good stuff on his 1st night out. Shorty had a juicy friend working in the bar and said he was getting us some free shots. We were all excited until we saw that the lady was dipping the shot glasses in a big jar that looked like it was full of dead squid. Turned out to be Ginseng soaking in Soju. It was without a doubt, the nastiest shot I have ever drank. The FNG was on his period and didn't want to do the nasty shot, so in the ammo bowl it went! The Don is shown above expressing his thoughts on FNG's lack of shot drinking. The ammo bowl was better than I have had at other places. I think it was made with champagne. We ended up staying there for an extra drink because Paddington was trying to hit on some of our smoking hot co-workers...and we were going to cock block him every step of the way. We rolled to Club Monaco after that. Club Monaco was a lame ass Homo Hang out! Some dude had the balls to change a song that we were playing. I had put on Pantera on, and "Walk" was half way done when some kid came over and changed it to Shaggy's "Mr. Boombostic" then walked out. I made sure to hang out the window and let him know that I believed him to have small genitalia and that he was quite possibly a homosexual.

Club Korea changed our night around. It was a juicy bar, which up to that point had the hottest looking juicies in town. Shorty seemed to know a bunch of them...hmm. Great bar!

Then it was The Whiskey-A-Go-Go. Not the real one, the crappy Korean version. Decent music, nothing too exciting.

Club Lucky...Wow! It is off the beaten path some, but well worth the visit. They had the hottest looking juicies in town! We got sharked at pool, but it was fun to watch. one of them had on a short little skirt and was showing off her pink and black panties. FNG wanted to make sure that "Moose Knuckle" was inserted here. I told one that I was not trying to get "time" with her, but wanted her to know that we thought she was the hottest bar girl we had seen. Once again, Shorty seemed to know all of the girls in the bar. WTF does that dude do in the middle of week to make all of these juicy friends?

We ended our Journey for the night at Dragon Club. Nice place, attractive juicies. Shorty made a new Juicy friend. And then, it happened...Some things just always are, and then come to a shocking end: Joe D's hitting streak, The Iron Horse retiring, Tom Landry gets fired, and The Don losing at darts (to the FNG). Sad day for dart players everywhere. Great night though!

A Vaginitis Outbreak Slowed Us Down...But Did Not Stop Us

1) Sabi
2) Rhino Bar
3) Gecko
4) Velfare*

If I could just ask for everybody's thoughts and prayers, I would appreciate it. The Don and Shorty both came down with a severe case of vaginitis and weren't able to make it into town last night. When they clear the sand out of their lady parts, they should be good to go again. Please Join me in praying for their cuntdition to heal.

The Juicy Killer and I trekked on like warriors though. We Started the night at JJ's, where JK and I decided we would have to go it alone. I am not sure that he was aware of the number of bars we had planned to storm through that evening, because he kept buying more beer at JJ's Cantina. I convinced him that it was time to raid the Pubs and off we went. During our search for the first review of the evening, I managed a rare feat. Something akin to getting a shot of one of those fake monsters, like bigfoot or the Pope, I managed to get a shot of Songtan Sally!!! Wanna Go? Not gonna post it for free...give me $1.23 and you can see it.

Our first stop was Sabi. The bartender spoke very little English and looked like a 12 year old boy, but in an odd way I still wanted to do her...It might have been beer goggles by that point, but I don't think it was. The owner was attractive (See Picture with the Juicy Killer). He felt very privileged, as you can see behind her, she doesn't allow many pictures to be taken in her bar. She offered us beer to fix things around the joint. JK took it serious and arranged for us to meet up and do real work there...I on the other hand inquired as to the state of her "pipes" and whether or not they needed fixin'. After that we headed to the Rhino. Seemed like Octoberfest in there. A lot of sausage and beer. I have been to a number of places in town, but this was really the 1st time I ever really thought, "Is this a gay bar?". The Juicy Killer also wondered as to the homo-ness of the bar. I will say though that the beer selection was big. Two or 3 on draft and 28 bottle brands. Some black guy started hitting on JK and he seemed fairly receptive to it, so I knew it was time to leave. We stumbled down the road and into the Geko. Quite possibly the closest thing to a "bar" bar in town. A couple of pool tables, some dart boards, a couple of females from work getting felt up/fingered at their tables. You know, usual stuff. JK was full and wanted something other than beer, so we got a pitcher of Soju. The Kiwi flavor was decent.

* I will add, for the "official" record...that The Don and I went to Velfare the week before this challenge officially began and drank yummy yummy Soju Slushees. And they were delicious. Velfare is now on the Off limits list. I am going to grandfather that bar in to our list. If you don't like it, get some Massengil and join Shorty and The Don.

Master of Puppets

1) Scandal
2) The Station
3) Wes's Place
4) USA Club

Our second day of pub crawling was a little less dramatic, but we still knocked down four new bars. We were treated to a Korean metal cover band at Scandal. Their guitar player could shred, but their singer struggled with the lyrics. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt though, since English is probably not his first language. The bartender seemed to like it though (see picture above). Once they finished their set, with the crowd chanting for more, it was apparent that they didn't have any songs left to play. What came next was like watching a band practice, as they commenced butchering many classic metal songs. That's when we took off, and later ended up at Wes's Place, Korea's finest country bar. I thought I was back in Montana. Not only because of the country music and line dancing, but because of the preponderance of fat chicks on the dance floor. Elliot and I finished up a successful weekend with some darts at the empty USA Club, with a nice second floor view of the street.

Pub Crawl Kicks Off With A Bang

1) JJ's Cantina
2) Woody's Rock Bar
3) My House
4) Bada Bing
5) Muddy Murphy's Irish Pub
6) Chicago

7) Jumi's Sports Bar

Ah, I love the excitement of opening day! The first night included a full slate of bars, including 2 juicy bars. We started at JJ's, where JJ definitely does not know the meaning of "hard music." Here we picked up Juicy Killer for our trek, who heard us talking about our adventures and decided to join. Woody's Rock Bar was definitely not a rock bar! They played really loud Korean dance music and salsa, coupled with Mythbuster reruns on the tvs. And our hopes for a quick stop were smashed when they brought the drinks out. Those things were huge (see above)! And cheap too. Later, Shorty took us to Chicago, a juicy bar with hotter and less pushy juicies than My House. So we decided to partake in the juicy experience. It was interesting, but I don't think I'll be a regular. The worst bar was Muddy Murphy's Irish Pub. If you call yourself an Irish Pub, you better at least have Harp's and some Irish music. They had Guiness, but it was terrible. We're headed out again Saturday to knock the total into double digits. Until tomorrow.....