Saturday, February 27, 2010

Were Back Baby, We're Back!!

1) Road House
2) E-Space
3) Celar DV8
4) Voodoo
5) 51st Sports Bar
6) Asian Club
7) Boogie House
8) Happy House
9) Elbow Room
10) Xenis

So, the Pub Crawlers were out in full force last night my friends. And we were making new friends everywhere we went, as evidenced by the Don's new "Special Lady" pictured above. She came to all of the bars with us and they were making out in the corner of the 10 bars listed above. We were also glad to pick up a new member that was highly impressive after some of the rookie draft picks over the previous nights. Help us say welcome to The Hammer. She hung with us from the First bar and was still going when we got to 10.
The Night started off with a nice ruckus crowd of crawlers. We invaded the Road House with a group of 15. The Don made himself right at home on the big cushy couches and started doling out ones to the ladies as they came off of the strip poles. It was really like being in a strip club. We were running low on funds with such a large crowd, so I hit the pole for a while to shake what the good lord forgot to give me and then did a few private dances to raise some extra cash and we were off.
E-Space was a classy joint. We rather enjoyed it and will DEFINITELY be back. Check out the new pictures posted! They have the hottest waitress in town, hands down! A very friendly Russian exchange student. All we could say was "WOW!"
Celar DV8 was an empty shit hole. I am pretty sure we interrupted a Korean Freedom Rock party because the place reeked of skunk weed. Empty, dark, crappy music and not worth a repeat visit.
As we made our way in to Voodoo, the Don decided that he was only going to Speak I-talian. Since I speak the second most I-talian, I translated very well for him. That is to say I shouted nonsensical babble and then made something up in English to say to the bar staff.
The 51st Sports bar is apparently run by the base, as it uses our name and logo for their sign, and as we know the Koreans do not look kindly on copyright infringement. It was an OK bar with the best selection of music videos to play. They also had a full medicine cabinet to include the box of tampons that we kept as a memento of the establishment.
Asian club was another horrible juicy bar. The music was so loud that we couldn't even carry on a conversation. I will say though that most of us appreciated the length of the dresses worn by the juicies. They were very short and there was much cheekage action.
We headed to the Boogie house next. They had grills inside by our table, so The Don and Luka whipped up some Brats and burgers to feed our hunger. The only fair thing to say about this dump is that I am certain it is where my mom would hang out if she ever sold her trailer and moved to Songtan.
The party headed to Happy House for a nice round of kettle shots and some much needed re-hydrating! Pub crawling will really take it out of you. It was a lot like the other bars in town except it had a pool table and dart boards...oh wait, it was just like every other crappy bar in town. Nothing special, but not worth a repeat. As were the last 2 bars, Elbow room and Xenis. Pool, darts, empty and boring. If we weren't in the last couple I think they could have closed and left.
We stopped to get a picture of the future home of the official Pub Crawl bar. The contractor needs to get to work because we are tired of looking at an empty lot! Half of the crowd was ready to dance the rest night away. Luka was hammered and could hardly smoke, let alone walk and I was having a bit of a "Soju Reflux" issue and decided that it would be in our best interest to not end up intubated before the morning. So home we came and lived to Crawl another day.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Balls! Penis! Vuh-J-J! Cock on Fire! Sweet Titties!!! Where Are My Fuck1ng Pants?? What's For Breakfast?

Do I have your attention now???? It is time people, it is past time as a matter of fact. We started on a quest to hit them all...but with our old, or as the Yankees call it, "Veteran", team, 100 is a more realistic goal. We have 18 more to go. It's time that we get off of our pansy asses and finish the job! Sooooooo, tomorrow night, Friday, 26 Feb 2010, the quest resumes. We will meet at JJ's around 8 or 8:30, depending on how long it takes Shorty's going away dinner (real Shorty not New Shorty, who is now Luka). I don't plan on it taking too long, as he has planned a joint dinner with a real humdinger. It is pretty sad when you plan a joint party and the first question EVERY person asks is " Why would you want to have your party with his???". Nuff said about that. I would like to see all of the Pub Crawl warriors come out and join us. Bring a friend and get them a nickname. If you don't have one, you need one too. Only people with nicknames will be offered T-shirts when they come in to commensurate the triple digit thrill.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Everything's So Blurry

1) Paradise
2) Paddy's Pub
3) Bobo's

Well Friday was an interesting night. Knocked off Paradise...of course, a juicy bar. I did try to get the juicies to leave us alone using an interesting tactic. I pretended I was gay. Even told them my "husband" and I were taking our honeymoon in the Phillipines. It was a little scary though how well I pulled that off. I think I weirded myself out of trying that again...Next up was Paddy's Pub. Not a soul in the place except the bartender. The bar had an Irish name, German decor, and Italian food (spaghetti). A really small place, but a good atmosphere. A strange Korean girl from Seoul came in and joined us...Tae Han. It was nice of her to buy us all those drinks, but we're not sure if everything was completely right with her. A bunch of loud dopes came in next, including a drunk Korean dude who we almost pounded into the floor. Luckily all violence was diffused. Tae Han gave us a ride to the gate in her BMW, and that was that.

Saturday JK and I went to a nurse's going away party at Bobo's. We obviously pissed off a bunch of idiots in matching shirts because it appeared we took over their bar. Again, violence almost erupted when some dumbass from Kunsan tried to talk to the nurses...First, he couldn't believe that pretty girls were officers, then he told us that he didn't like hospital people. He still tried to talk to the group, and so we stepped in and told the guy point blank to beat it. He must have seen the Michael Corleone in my eyes, because he quietly obliged. Then we hit up a couple repeats, Wes's Place, that damn country bar that gives me Montana flashbacks, and Woody's, the place with the giant beers, which at that point I couldn't finish.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

And the Video Is In!!!

I was hoping it turned out OK, and it did. I managed to get some video of The Don Jamming with his band of Jucies. He dresses a little different for a show, but I think you can all spot him fairly easily. Jam on Don!!!! We also hit 2 more bars. Paradise and Paddy's Pub. Stories to be told in person, might be considered sensitive information...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

We've Turned Into Losers

1) Soul Train
2) Element Club

Dang I have to stop delaying on these posts. We did knock off 2 additional bars this past weekend, but due to significant alcohol consumption and the lag time, I don’t really remember much about them. Soul Train wasn’t a bad bar…They had some kind of fruity drink call the Pink Lake, which was good and strong, but made my teeth hurt the next day. They had a nice window view overlooking Jumi’s, but the best part was the winding fire escape staircase. Not a good option if you’ve had too much to drink. I made sure to go ahead of JK, since I thought he might get stuck. Element Club was across the street, and as much as we tried to avoid this place, it had to be done. It was a juicy bar, which says enough. They had a drumset up on the stage though, and I told the fellas that I was playing that thing before I left. Unfortunately, the owners didn’t leave me any sticks, so I was forced to just jam out with just the kick and high hat. Next time I’ll bring my own sticks and shake the place to the ground. The rest of evening was a blur, and the rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. No new bars, but we did check out a good live band (Annika) and revisited City Hall.
We’re inching toward the finish line on this damn Pub Crawl. We may make it before we leave.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

4th and Inches...It's a Touchdown!

1) Touchdown

Holy crap, Touchdown finally decided to open its doors to the Crawlers. Elliot's been walking past the damn place every weekend, hoping it was open, and it finally was. Not a bad bar. As the name suggests, a lot of football themed decor. Gotta give them points for the peaches as bar snacks. Can't say I've seen that before, but it's a healthier option than the dong kong. It's a second story bar, so there's a nice over-the-street view of the main drag. Heckles would have a field day up there harassing passers-by until they crawled in the gutter and cried.

As you can probably tell from the posts, the Crawl has slowed to, well, a crawl. Some of the motivation is gone, coupled with the fact we'd rather suffer through a hot buttermilk colonic before going into some of the remaining establishments. But we received some encouraging news...The town patrol informed Elliot of the exact number of bars in Songtan. Turns out we overestimated: the actual number is 111. And they're going to set us up with a map. So that means there's 34 to go. We'll knock them out a few at a time and get this thing taken care of once and for all.

In order to shake things up a bit, we decided to head over the bridge, to the "real" Korea - City Hall, Pyongtaek. Since we were rolling with a Korean, we figured this would be a good bet. Shorty's twenty minute walk turned into a good 45 minutes. JK and Luka had to stop for a breather - damn congestive heart failure! Anyway, we finally made it, and hit up this German Beer Garden with yard like contraptions of beer. Of course it was the same crappy Korean beer, but the cool glasses and built in table coolers make it taste slightly less like goat urine. Elliot hated the place from the start, and once we left, he and Luka took off in a cab. But not before Elliot and JK jumped into a threesome with the German totem pole (see pic). JK, Shorty, Phil (the Korean) and me hit up another Korean bar, where they knew some of the waitstaff. They had some soju and some 151 with us, and then Phil gave them a passionate kiss goodbye. I guess that's how it works here - you can't be shy. Of course, these bars don't count towards the total (note the title "Songtan Pub Crawl), but the new experience was refreshing.

We headed back to the Songtan and The Giant for a nightcap, and then called it a night. Next weekend is a long weekend, and because it's a Korean holiday, traveling is not advised. Sounds like a good time to knock out some of the remaining 34.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

"How'd You Find This Place, Man?"

1) Mach One
2) UNClub
3) Lions Den
4) Jam

OK, so Friday finally arrived, and I was ready to booze. It's been a long week - between dealing with a top secret visit, and coping with looking at three batting practice fastballs right down the middle for a strikeout, it was time to rip it up. We started at Mach One. Now I know why the ER gets all those alcohol poisoning patients. This place had $20 drink til you drop specials. We didn't partake, but it's something to keep in mind. They had a bread machine (second bar to have this, wtf?), in case you're in the mood for some sourdough with your beer. The rock music was pretty good, that is until Nickelback came on. And you know my rule - either we leave or I turn into the Incredible Hulk and destroy the place.

UNClub was next. Straight juicy bar. Well-fed juicy bar, I might add. JK diffused that awkward situation by telling the juicies we were cops. Yea, they didn't bother us the after that. A little later a couple juicies hopped on stage with a guitar and bass and jammed out some dance songs to prerecorded tracks. Now mind you, these songs are terrible as is, let alone with some human-trafficked juicies trying to play them. Terrible. That and the lack of air conditioning in a basement bar forced us to leave that place in a hurry.

Then we headed to Lions Den. I had been there with the hashers, but we decided to knock this one out as a group. A lot of folks in there, but unfortunately most of them were loud, large girls or dudes with cowboy hats. Lots of country music to complement the scenery. We waited for the ladies to finish their cosmos and then we were out. We weren't sticking around for the bull riding competition.

Last of the newbies was Jam. It was a third floor bar and was advertised as Old School*Rap*RnB*Food. We decided to check it out, and noticeably lightened the place up, if you know what I mean. The bartender asked "How'd you guys find this place, man." Regardless, we had some drinks, played some pool, and took a picture. It was a nice relaxing atmosphere, with some good RnB jams to mellow the mood. Perfect if you're thinking of seducing a girl up there (note to self). The unisex bathroom was nice enough to take a crap in (also note to self). But we weren't exactly feeling welcome here, and moved along to some repeats for the remainder of the night.

150 bars my ass. We're up to 76 and I don't think there's many more. The end is near, disciples!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Pretty Boring Weekend

1) Hustler
2) Cream
3) Wa Rock
4) Playoff
5) Lazy Daze
6) First Class Club

7) Shooters

Very uneventful overall. No one bar to tell a story about and no camera this weekend, so no pics...sorry.

The highlights overall...Hustler had juicies that you could picture in a Hustler Magazine, in the Beaver Hunt section. Cream had Apple Pie shots that were decent, but expensive. Also they had a tiny pool table, just right for Shorty to play on. Wa Rock was pretty much mid-crawl shit. Empty and boring. But they had a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald on the wall, so they were OK in my book. Play Off was horrible!!!! Flat crappy beer. Lazy Daze Featured 6 juicies and the 4 of us. We managed to "borrow" a souvenir though. First Class had tiny drinks that were weak. Saturday we hit one more new one. Shooters had Alarm Black playing. Their old lead singer was much better. They put on a decent show, but they try waaaaaaaay to hard to try and "look" like they are into the music. Silly faces and stuff. Also, they have like 20 different people that come out of the crowd to swap out with band members. If I could offer advice to them it would be to stick with one line up and learn the damn songs. A music stand with words to the songs looks pathetic and high school garage bandish.